


Deserve

by goodloser



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, Christmas Eve, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodloser/pseuds/goodloser
Summary: 24/12/XX ; "The hardest battles are fought after it's over" is a stupid sentiment Akira has to agree with.(Yusuke version of the Xmas Eve girlfriend cutscene. Spoilers for 24/12 of course)





	Deserve

Reading over the messages hadn't provoked any feeling other than a strangled sense of fulfillment. Akira had thought it'd be coming surely long before his boyfriend had begun thinking over what to send. Someone more grounded, like Makoto, might've supposed it was his Third Eye playing up, but he'd been good at _knowing what the mood would bring_ since that turnpoint night in his hometown over a year ago.

He'd been suspecting Yaldabaoth didn't write the most original games.

He'd let Sae know, and her understanding had peeked through in the tenderness of her smile. _You can come tomorrow,_ she'd said. She trusted him that much.

When Akira and Yusuke had finally met up, he'd felt so stiff with finality it'd been like he could _hear_ it. If Yusuke had noticed, he didn't voice it. Now, Akira was unlocking the door to Leblanc with a resignation that felt more crushing than his usual bouts of frustration ever could.

Yusuke pawed his way into the café, but stopped quickly, giving Akira barely any standing space with the door closed behind him.

 "A shame we didn’t stop to watch any couples,” he said, but the shy grin on his lips suggested he was only a _little_ upset. “A white Shibuya is no less poignant, of course, but the things lovers do when they think no one is paying attention… Snow gives them the impression they are alone.”

Akira can’t remember the last month he felt he wasn’t. He muttered, “It’s always snowing when I’m with you.

A different impression to what he was thinking, maybe, but the confidence in his words was reassuring.

“Ever the charm,” Yusuke breathed. A hand glanced up to brush a strand out of his eyes, and hovered there. “Then - to your room.”

The air was thin.

“Christmas Eve is a date I’ve never known what to do with. Not as a child, and not now. Mere hours before an event so weighted it’s reached the hearts of countless painters cultures over, yet not mine. Of course I suspect that's in part to not being Christian myself. But you must admit it feels as if we as a people are missing out on something."

Akira's quietness always came naturally, but now it felt stifling that enough he'd missed his cue in the conversation.

"Our perceptions of Christmas... are not incredibly refined. Children pursue their desires in gifts, and adults in loves, and both of those moments are too transient for it to truly be worthwhile.

... is what I was considering this day last year," Yusuke added.

Akira's heart drummed bitterly in his chest.

"Just months together," Yusuke eyed his fingers, shifting together and breaking apart over and over, "and you have already begun changing my stance on something I've thought every Christmas Eve I've seen through. Will you ever disappoint me?"

The attic sighed softly as Akira shifted his feet, paying attention to the flashes of grey planks between Yusuke's swinging legs. It wasn't every day something embarrassed his boyfriend to the point he couldn't look him in the eyes, even when it came to romance. The battles after battles had thrown both of them off balance. He _wanted_ to chastise him for expressing an idealism like  _he'll never disappoint him_ \- that kind of thinking was poison mixed in honey - but the urge didn't come, because a different need burst to the surface instead. He took Yusuke's curling fingers. They paused in his hands.

"I won't," he vowed. "I'll do lots of disappointing things, but I won't disappoint you."

_Always blunt, when you're always ornamental._

Yusuke's brow furrowed gently, and Akira knew he was mulling the meaning over, but pressed on. Suddenly, like a flash of eye-catching red had jumped back into his vision, his words came to him like they always did: fullbodied. "Because what I want is what's right."

"I see your seminal certainty hasn't wavered," was the reply laughed with him. "But I knew it can't. Not after that  _Velvet Room_ excursion."

He'd still been sifting through the mental aftermath of everything else that'd happened that night, maybe, but only now was what it meant fully reaching him. If his actions weren't right, he just had to deem them so. The  _mood_ carried Akira, but  _Akira_ carried the mood. He'd waved away the conclusive air clinging to his clothes. He'd definitely be going to juvie on Sae's grim guarantee, but now it didn't feel like a sentence as much as it did a hiatus. 

The conversation was warmer now - on Akira's part - turning to both their favourite parts of any Christmas: the food. Yusuke spoke spirited as ever,  _insisting_ on the merits of Christmas cake. Akira handwaved it as a Japanese invention; not a bad one, but the kind of Eastern stopgap measure that made Christmas Eve feel so culturally flat. Not the kind of culture Michelangelo or whoever would've wanted to take part in. That caused Yusuke to go curiously quiet, staring at a spot over Akira's shoulder for stretched moments until he exclaimed something about an idea and yelped.

"This," he reached into his jacket and pulled out a silver pen, "is a space pen. A pen NASA developed that can be used in orbit where contemporary ink pens cannot, as gift for you. Its unpolished stroke also makes it nice for anti-art pieces."

 _Quite like you_ , he didn't need to add out loud.

Akira was touched, but his expression had turned impassive.

"How much was that, Yusuke?"

"It has a titanium body," Yusuke winced.

"I love it. Thanks. I'm thinking about 5,000 yen?"

"Put your wallet back!" Yusuke thrust the pen into Akira's already-busy hands, although his pained voice implied he didn't mean it.

Akira passed him the notes anyway, but they stole Yusuke's eyes for a little too long, and he figured he was just weighing up refusing them. When Yusuke next spoke, it was disconcertingly loud.

"Akira."

He shook his head.

"The Shido incident has been making its way round television, and subsequently, my mind. I don't know what outcome this investigation will bring."

Yusuke paused. He forced his gaze onto Akira, then paused again, then cupped his cheek. It smelled very faintly of graphite. Akira closed his eyes.

"I don't want the future to take you away from me," Yusuke said.

Akira had spent enough time carefully soothing Yusuke down from enough dorm-related shutdowns to know this without thinking about it. But he didn't want to make him panic either. And, of course, no matter what, he wanted to protect him.

"I'm sorry," he laughed. Yusuke sighed slowly, and stood up.

"I must lay out my idea while it's fresh. Contrasting traditions kept alive, converging. My supplies -"

"I'll walk you back."

"Please rest, Akira." Yusuke tugged his sleeve over his hand, and made to leave, but stops shortly. Akira can't see his face, and Yusuke can't see his. "I am  _sometimes_ aware when things go left unsaid, you know. Good evening, Akira."

His steps downstairs were brisk, and could be heard up to a neat door-closing thunk, but they didn't bother Akira as much as they might've done any other day. He'd have rather not upset Yusuke, but it was for the best, and more importantly,  _he'd be back_.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gay i wish the game let me be gay pleasw
> 
> yeah... the xmas eve gf cutscene with yusuke because i need it.... kinda turned out angstier than i wanted but i don't mean it to :^( i haven't written in ages so this isn't great but i tried ghfhb i really hope no one has done this before also but if they have. well whoops. i didn't copy it i Promise
> 
> kinda want to write a 14/2 one too with more fluff! maybe...


End file.
